Happiness

happier, healthier, more productive living

Happiness is defined in the dictionary many ways, but one word that regularly comes up is “contentment.” One citing (dictionary.com) elaborates: “contentment is a peaceful kind of happiness in which one rests without desires, even though every wish may not have been gratified.”

I like this definition because it acknowledges the reality that our every wish will not be gratified.  Learning to accept that reality gives us a peaceful kind of happiness based upon gratitude for what we have, not bitterness or resentment for what we don’t have.

Practicing forgiveness focuses directly on gratitude.  It reminds us that there are no entitlements and all we have - possessions as well as life itself - is a gift. 

Happiness also is understood as a deep, abiding state of acceptance. It is in contrast with being “glad” which is a state of being elated due to some event or circumstance of life. For example, if my team wins the state championship I may be exceedingly glad. Yet, once I’m back home with the cares of daily life, I may or may not be happy. It is meant in the sense of someone asking you, “are you happy with your life?”

We can be sad with grief, upset over betrayal, disappointed over something we’ve done, and yet still be happy. One can accept him/herself as he/she is, even while being upset with oneself. It’s not unlike being upset with a child over misbehavior while still loving and caring for the child. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be upset.

Achieving this deep, abiding state of acceptance, involves a significant element of detachment.  That is, we must not attach our identity and deepest self to circumstances that are (or were, or will be) out of our control.  Rather, we must open ourselves to the possibilities of the given moment. Deepak Chopra describes his law of detachment as follows:

In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty..... in the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning.  In our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe.

Practicing forgiveness helps us better understand and accept ourselves and others through paying attention to how we respond to life’s events.  By engaging generosity, gratitude, and kindness, we put acceptance into action and encourage happiness.