From time to time my forgiveness discussions run into the brick wall of practicality. Claiming to be a realist or simply practical, a person opts to carry the grudge as a matter of political prudence or self-protection. Or there’s an appeal to the Myers-Briggs Indicator, “I’m a thinker, not a feeler.” Yet…
forgiveness is one of the most practical things I know.
forgiveness is one of the most practical things I know.
I discovered additional support from the world of business in Cindy Wigglesworth’s SQ21. Wigglesworth is a Houston-based consultant who spent several years in Human Resources with Exxon. Within her 21 skills of Spiritual Intelligence (i.e., SQ21), she states that forgiveness is a key skill in keeping the Higher Self in charge (skill 13).
A primary forgiveness practice in the workplace (and beyond) is reframing or resetting the story of blame that brews in your mind when someone annoys or hurts you. This is similar to Fred Luskin’s (Forgive for Good) nine steps to forgiveness where the ninth step is to “Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.”
Wigglesworth offers a doorway into this story transformation. She asks, “What would it take for ME to do this obnoxious thing that this person is doing?” As we begin to posit scenarios that could lead us down that path, we broaden the possibilities and counter-balance the blaming stories. Then, we realize a humbling fact:
I don’t really know what’s going on with that person.
Armed with a clear understanding of unknowing, we may give the benefit of the doubt, let our annoyance and anger subside, forgive ourselves for jumping to conclusions, and, perhaps, offer to assist the formerly-known-as-obnoxious person before us.
Quote
Forgiveness is the journey of moving from telling the story as a victim to telling the story as a hero. Forgiveness means that your story changes so that you and not the grievance are in control. Fred Luskin
Web
Cindy Wigglesworth’s Spiritual Intelligence (SQ) is based upon the concept of multiple intelligences and completes a triad along with Cognitive Intelligence (IQ) and Emotional Intelligence (EQ). She sets for the basics of Spiritual Intelligence in a recent TEDx talk (watch now)
A primary forgiveness practice in the workplace (and beyond) is reframing or resetting the story of blame that brews in your mind when someone annoys or hurts you. This is similar to Fred Luskin’s (Forgive for Good) nine steps to forgiveness where the ninth step is to “Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.”
Wigglesworth offers a doorway into this story transformation. She asks, “What would it take for ME to do this obnoxious thing that this person is doing?” As we begin to posit scenarios that could lead us down that path, we broaden the possibilities and counter-balance the blaming stories. Then, we realize a humbling fact:
I don’t really know what’s going on with that person.
Armed with a clear understanding of unknowing, we may give the benefit of the doubt, let our annoyance and anger subside, forgive ourselves for jumping to conclusions, and, perhaps, offer to assist the formerly-known-as-obnoxious person before us.
Quote
Forgiveness is the journey of moving from telling the story as a victim to telling the story as a hero. Forgiveness means that your story changes so that you and not the grievance are in control. Fred Luskin
Web
Cindy Wigglesworth’s Spiritual Intelligence (SQ) is based upon the concept of multiple intelligences and completes a triad along with Cognitive Intelligence (IQ) and Emotional Intelligence (EQ). She sets for the basics of Spiritual Intelligence in a recent TEDx talk (watch now)