Promoting self-acceptance

​As parents, grandparents, uncles/aunts, teachers, and caregivers, children look to us for acceptance.  They want to know that they are worthy of our love and respect because of who they are (i.e., fellow human beings), not because of what they have done.  So, how we handle their accomplishments and disappointments can leave a profound and lasting effect.

​“Promoting self-forgiveness with youth” (article here) gives an example of how a teacher handled his disappointment with the class’s lack of preparation.  He didn’t let them off the hook – he held them accountable for their mistakes.  But he did it in a way that allowed them to take their lumps, forgive themselves, and move on to do better.
 
When we accept ourselves just as we are – strengths, weaknesses, accomplishments, failures – then we can embrace the truth and begin improving our lives.  Without acceptance we often avoid the truth by blaming others or by engaging other unhealthy practices.
 
Modeling acceptance and self-forgiveness, and assisting our children in self-forgiveness, will help children learn how to hold themselves accountable and be responsible for their lives without getting mired in guilt and shame.
 
Quote
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
Carl Rogers
 
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How does self-forgiveness or self-compassion compare with self-esteem? Kristin Neff addressed this last month in a TED talk. (watch video)