The things that tick me off most about other people – my hot buttons – are the things that disturb me most about myself. It doesn’t matter how trivial or critical the particular behavior is to my getting along in the world. It’s just that I don’t like to own up to it. So, when I see my faults mock me while disguised in someone else’s behavior, I don’t like it.
Actually, it’s not that I don’t like it. I’m ashamed of it.
Having been thrown head first into the humiliating awareness of my shortcomings, I do my worst at covering, deflecting, blaming and otherwise trying to rid myself of the disgrace. None of it works.
What does work? Kindness.
According to Hanan Harchol,
…it may sound counterintuitive, but sometimes the action of
doing something kind breaks through the cycle of resentment
and begins a cycle of forgiveness, healing, and kindness.
With kindness we recognize that, despite our unique sets of abilities, quirks, and neuroses, we’re equals sharing the same basic task of making our way in the world. And, like forgiveness, kindness is a paradoxically shared gift:
…in the giving, we receive.
God created human beings as mirrors. The faults we see in others are actually our own. Baal Shem Tov
Here’s a brief interview about forgiveness with Hanan Harchol, a multimedia artist and creator of Jewish Food for Thought (read now).